The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
