That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
