I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize