We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
