every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize