I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
