how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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