My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
