Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
