Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
