yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There's always time for handjobs
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
