I wanna bring you to show and tell
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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