I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
