You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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