YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
