she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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