I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
