I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
