he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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