woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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