When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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