i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
