my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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