The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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