I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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