u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
