Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
how drunk are you?
Several
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize