Just cropdusted the office
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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