Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
