Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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