what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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