Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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