Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize