I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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