Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude. I can hear the air.
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