normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
