dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
