Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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