I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
