i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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