how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
