Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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