brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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