well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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