Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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