they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
