i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
