You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
