I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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