Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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