in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
