I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
