The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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