Got a toothbrush?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize