Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
