That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
