I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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