Don't make out with my wife yet
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
