You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do herpes really smell.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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