So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
