You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
