We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
