It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
