Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
