the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
